It's been years that I remembered the time we took the lost time back in order. Drinks in some malls downtown, books I bought somewhere on the West, stories shared in between riding on the roads. Never remembered the exact time we landed on phone calls across the sea. Never remembered the time when this heart bloomed and fell.
It's been months since the last time we spoke. As the sun rose up, you were gone by the wind. I thought that it's only a full moon—like we always did. But my notification's dead. My last chats never been answered. And like the sociopathic stalker, I only knew how you are by the stories up on your social media.
It's been weeks. I was so drunk in pain. I've missed our random conversations. Yet I found myself hiding in the dark, painted my wrist red again. To feel, or not to feel. Longing for your voice to be the only thing that cured my insanity. Your calming voice, your dry jokes. Your "I loved you" and my bitter laughs. We circled back to the haunted house of unwanted feelings. Yet I didn't stepped out of it. I was trapped.
And now I've realized. It's another day one for me. A clean slate. The fireworks, the noises, the hopes, the kisses. The new year that I always prayed for another new life. And I do really hope it's a new path for me to get out of this place. Your painted blue skies and all the unanswered why. The lost midnight calls and untold "I love you"s.
// the day one, the lost one.
02.01.26; 12.15am
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar